Honda_chick
11-10-2004, 11:20 AM
:joker:
Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie
>>>dolls
>>>for the Metro Manitoba Market:
>>>
>>>Southdale Barbie: Has freshness date on package. Do not buy after
>>>that
>>>date or product may be spoiled rotten. Comes with no appreciation
>>>for
>>>how the other 95% live. Does not have career or an idea of what
>>>makes
>>>her happy. When bought in conjunction with Hard Working Ken, she
>>>will
>>>change her appearance, will gain 75 lbs., will cut her hair, and
>>>belittle anyone who crosses her. No one, including Ken, is right,
>>>ever.
>>>Ken's head melts after 17 years.
>>>
>>>Transcona Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own
>>>Wrangler
>>>Jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and has a tattoo of a
>>>Tweety
>>>bird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six-pack of Coors
>>>Light, and a Hank Williams, Jr., CD set. She can spit over 5 feet
>>>and
>>>can kick mullet-haired Kenny doll's ass when she's drunk. Comes
>>>with
>>>personal concealed gun license.
>>>
>>>West St. Pauls Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with a choice of a
>>>BMW
>>>sports car or a souped-up H2. Included is her Starbucks cup,
>>>credit
>>>cards, and country club membership. Also available for this set
>>>are
>>>Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
>>>
>>>East Kildonan Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie
>>>has a
>>>pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
>>>chased beer-gutted Ken out of Maples Barbie's house. Her make-up
>>>is dark
>>>red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink
>>>or no
>>>fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans
>>>with
>>>assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white
>>>see-through halter top. Accessories include a CD player equipped
>>>with
>>>BonJovi CD and a rusty old Ford pickup.
>>>
>>>Brandon Barbie: This Barbie is very similar to Transcona Barbie.
>>>She
>>>comes with a few more accessories: shoulder pads, dark polyester
>>>skirt,
>>>white pantyhose, and a bad haircut.
>>>
>>>Wolsely Barbie: This doll, made of actual tofu, has long gray hair
>>>and
>>>archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup, doesn't shave,
>>>and
>>>loves mosquitoes. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She
>>>thinks
>>>everybody is a right-winger, and hates the police with a
>>>vengeance.
>>>
>>>Lindenwoods Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with
>>>your
>>>choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Escalade. Her vehicle is used for
>>>youth
>>>athletic taxi service only. She gets lost easily and has no
>>>full-time
>>>occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional
>>>matching gym outfit.
>>>
>>>Maples Barbie: This ethnic Barbie wears a leopard-print outfit and
>>>drinks Singapore Slings while she entertains friends in her
>>>Manitoba
>>>Housing funded co-op. Limited clothing available. Very own bumper
>>>shopping cart available. Ethnic Ken completes this set.
>>>
>>>St. Vital Barbie: This model is only available at the Sears store
>>>or at
>>>any parochial school bazaar. It cannot be purchased on Saturday
>>>night
>>>(because of Trivia nights) or on Sundays (Sunday school class).
>>>It
>>>comes with a case of Lab Lite beer (supplied by the coach), pork
>>>steaks,
>>>a recipe for Hash Brown Casserole, a 1987 Plymouth Voyager, and
>>>one cell
>>>phone (circa 1982, big as a toaster) with 15 anytime minutes. She
>>>is
>>>wearing the latest fashion from Wal-Mart that she wore on Easter
>>>Sunday.
>>>
>>>
>>>North End Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm
>>>handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows, and her
>>>own
>>>Meth Lab kit. This Barbie also comes with 6 children by four
>>>different Kens.
:joker: :joker: :rockin:
Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie
>>>dolls
>>>for the Metro Manitoba Market:
>>>
>>>Southdale Barbie: Has freshness date on package. Do not buy after
>>>that
>>>date or product may be spoiled rotten. Comes with no appreciation
>>>for
>>>how the other 95% live. Does not have career or an idea of what
>>>makes
>>>her happy. When bought in conjunction with Hard Working Ken, she
>>>will
>>>change her appearance, will gain 75 lbs., will cut her hair, and
>>>belittle anyone who crosses her. No one, including Ken, is right,
>>>ever.
>>>Ken's head melts after 17 years.
>>>
>>>Transcona Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own
>>>Wrangler
>>>Jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and has a tattoo of a
>>>Tweety
>>>bird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six-pack of Coors
>>>Light, and a Hank Williams, Jr., CD set. She can spit over 5 feet
>>>and
>>>can kick mullet-haired Kenny doll's ass when she's drunk. Comes
>>>with
>>>personal concealed gun license.
>>>
>>>West St. Pauls Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with a choice of a
>>>BMW
>>>sports car or a souped-up H2. Included is her Starbucks cup,
>>>credit
>>>cards, and country club membership. Also available for this set
>>>are
>>>Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
>>>
>>>East Kildonan Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie
>>>has a
>>>pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
>>>chased beer-gutted Ken out of Maples Barbie's house. Her make-up
>>>is dark
>>>red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink
>>>or no
>>>fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans
>>>with
>>>assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white
>>>see-through halter top. Accessories include a CD player equipped
>>>with
>>>BonJovi CD and a rusty old Ford pickup.
>>>
>>>Brandon Barbie: This Barbie is very similar to Transcona Barbie.
>>>She
>>>comes with a few more accessories: shoulder pads, dark polyester
>>>skirt,
>>>white pantyhose, and a bad haircut.
>>>
>>>Wolsely Barbie: This doll, made of actual tofu, has long gray hair
>>>and
>>>archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup, doesn't shave,
>>>and
>>>loves mosquitoes. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She
>>>thinks
>>>everybody is a right-winger, and hates the police with a
>>>vengeance.
>>>
>>>Lindenwoods Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with
>>>your
>>>choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Escalade. Her vehicle is used for
>>>youth
>>>athletic taxi service only. She gets lost easily and has no
>>>full-time
>>>occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional
>>>matching gym outfit.
>>>
>>>Maples Barbie: This ethnic Barbie wears a leopard-print outfit and
>>>drinks Singapore Slings while she entertains friends in her
>>>Manitoba
>>>Housing funded co-op. Limited clothing available. Very own bumper
>>>shopping cart available. Ethnic Ken completes this set.
>>>
>>>St. Vital Barbie: This model is only available at the Sears store
>>>or at
>>>any parochial school bazaar. It cannot be purchased on Saturday
>>>night
>>>(because of Trivia nights) or on Sundays (Sunday school class).
>>>It
>>>comes with a case of Lab Lite beer (supplied by the coach), pork
>>>steaks,
>>>a recipe for Hash Brown Casserole, a 1987 Plymouth Voyager, and
>>>one cell
>>>phone (circa 1982, big as a toaster) with 15 anytime minutes. She
>>>is
>>>wearing the latest fashion from Wal-Mart that she wore on Easter
>>>Sunday.
>>>
>>>
>>>North End Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm
>>>handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows, and her
>>>own
>>>Meth Lab kit. This Barbie also comes with 6 children by four
>>>different Kens.
:joker: :joker: :rockin: